Everything in life seems to be a big lesson for me right now... everything I do, everywhere I turn... whoa..... putting breaks on..... woke up this morning thinking of the million and one things on my list to do today and realized that there is one really important thing I have been kind of working on... avoiding if I am honest that I really must complete.....
... so today is D day... D for done that is...... using my very best procrastination skills have not gotten me very far and when I come down to the wire the stress level increases out of nothing but my own fault.... Life has a funny way of sitting you down (after you fall on your butt twice) and making you listen to what your heart and mind are trying to tell you.....
....How often do we? OK I really mean me....really listen to the gut instincts we have that tell us something is about to happen.... I have them often.... I sometimes listen, stressing sometimes...... however I am getting better at it... if I listen I stop myself from doing something that I fight internally over for some time before arriving at the answer... my gut which I will say is really my heart... my feelings.... my warning mechanism... my intuition.... fights with my mind which on an intellectual level is really trying to talk my intuition out of it..... I can hear it now...saying come on, how in the world can you know that, really is that true, really, or do you just not want to go, ah that's the ticket you don't want to do this or that.... and you are just making up excuses... you are just trying to find reasons why it won't work...... you are just being lazy..... and so on and so on....
...Truth is that any of those things could be true for you or me but... we choose to go with the intellectual side of things because the mind is really good at debate.... it's become accustomed to winning over intuition..... it is a professional talker..... offering up great reasons of what we should do..... and our heart, our feelings, our intuition, is not taken seriously because the mind has won so many battles we have learned to trust it more then the weaker opponent.....
...Reality is our intuition, feelings, our inner warnings are usually the truth.... it speaks much louder then the mind when you turn up the volume on it and silence the eternal chatter in your mind..... you can hear, feel and acknowledge that your heart is speaking..... it has a strong, powerfully loving voice and has your very best interest at its core always!
...I feel in my heart this is the right thing to do..... and then my mind says, really, how about those around you that count on you.... what, they mean nothing to you......... you made a commitment..... that means nothing to you.... hey what about me..... what about you... this isn't about you... it's about what they need from you... and you are the only one that can do it... really... that's not true... oh yes it is, OK no one does it better... oh, I see... ya you are right! sound familiar... or am I the only one that goes through this inner battle... again allowing my strong intelligent mind to win..........
...Back to this morning.... I struggled with staying home and finishing these important documents that should have been done 2 weeks ago... going to the office because I should....... working in quiet except for the occasional pee the dog needs out to do........... focusing my entire energy on completing this document and the other few on my list that are of importance.... I think it was guilt.. but truth is my team lead by the incredible Debbie Drinkwalter... has it all under control and really they have proven that they do a much better job without me.... so in the end.... I realized that my intuition wins today... how fabulous is that... strengthening it... see that mind.... you lose this one... you can't force me to do it with guilt or anything else..... my heart won!!!! Victory... one small step for intuition one giant leap for being more fully in myself getting closer to understanding this incredible machine I have use of.....
...shhhhhhh be still, the heart is speaking.....
...Do Not Disturb.....
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