Look here! Enough already..... Lately there is just too much going on.... too many people being affected by disease and fighting for their life.... too many learning of health issues they have and some losing the battle right in front of us..... enough...
Yesterday started out as any ordinary day..... as normal got myself into the shower and started my morning prayer... only this day... I chose to change up my routine... I typically thank my maker for all my blessings, thank him for keeping my family and friends safe, for all the little things that I don't ever want to take for granted again.... and then ask for what I want .. you know seek and ye shall find... I believe ask and it shall be given... so if you don't ask you won't get... give up my burdens then.... tell him the main goals of the day and beyond and then lift my hands palms up and say I am open to receive all good things that will take me to my goals....
Note: I am not a religious fanatic... I believe in what I believe in and feel that each one of us believes in something.... we gain strength from different sources and if it's a higher power or being of some sort then so be it..... I do.... I have faith in what I believe and I don't feel the need to pretend anything different.....
On this day, I started out by being grateful and then asked my maker to take care of Yvette... stop the nose bleeds... stop the pain she is in.... and I started to tear up..... but could go on... then added my friend Joy... her double mastectomy is booked now for March 22nd... and I asked that he take care of her... her new journey... the pain be minimal... her gentle spirit be cradled.... and I lost it.... completely lost it..... I cried so hard.. I sobbed chest wrenching sobs that I could hear the sounds but didn't get where they came from... my legs went like jello and I went down on my knees - slowly it seemed to happen but I couldn't control it... I asked why I was spared this time around... why I have been given this opportunity and not them..... why not them and why me.....
As suddenly as it happened, I got calm........ really calm in fact... like the water somehow washed it away.... like I was answered.... like I felt in my heart that they would both be ok..... like I heard the answer.... I was chosen to receive this gift so that I could be strong and be a voice for those that can't.... so I could raise my voice to stop this insanity.... to speak out for prevention and preservation..... to educate as much as I can...... I can...... to fully understand that the path I am on with the Stilettos is the one I am meant to be on.... it found me..... I didn't go looking for this... it found me......
Today, I receive an email from my cupcake - Mandy the cupcake girl.... her tumor in her brain is growing..... and she is having surgery on March 30th.... this lovely girl is so positive... what a journey she is on.... and her husband... how amazing he is..... the 2 of them are so delightful.. her smile lights up a room..... You will see at the Stilettos event because she is going to be there.... oh yes she is!!!!!
I think of my friend Kathleen who has just had a hysterectomy March 1st, due to presence of cervical cancer.... been there so I know.... I can relate... Kathleen is such a sweetie and of course her faith has her wrapped in a giant hug with the warmest heated blanket... that doesn't lose its heat... and a big fluffy pillow....
I await news on my friends M & D.... who are both experiencing health issues.... and I know they are both going to take it in their strides and get done what needs to be done to maintain health.... they are amazing people with hearts of gold.... and for some reason they are being given this to learn something.... who knows..... but I pray for them too...
My mom, my poor mom had to go to the hospital yesterday to have a piece of her bottom lip cut out... yuck.. she has had so much trouble - she is susceptible to cold sores and has suffered with them as long as I can remember... last year she went to see a doc and she burnt it off... at the hospital the doc says that should have never been done... so he cut it.. imagine having stitches in your lip.. you can't eat, you can't even yawn... ouch.. poor mommy..... I love my mom more then anything...... now we wait 2 weeks for pathology results....
I took my 96 year old grandmother homemade soup yesterday... yes I made soup... traditional Ukrainian borscht... yummy... I made it for her because she can't see very well anymore, her leg gives her so much pain.. she can barely walk around without pain.... she is so little.... and I just don't know how much time I have left... she talks about how even at 80 and 90 she felt ok.. and now she feels bad.... and you know people have to die sometime... what in the hell do you say? Let me tell you this has been one tough cookie... she has scared the best of us into doing what she thinks is best... sometimes with just a look.... I remember being a 14 year old know it all girl, sitting beside my Baba on a bus heading to Florida for a week and I had decided that it was time to tell her I smoked.... so I said Baba I smoke.... she didn't say anything for a long time and simply said "why" as she stared out the window... I wasn't expecting that response so had no idea what to say... I replied " I quit"..... after that I did continue to smoke for years... in fact quit 7 years ago started again 3 years ago and then 18 months ago I quite for good this time... but I will tell you - I hid it from her - family gatherings, parties or anything... I never smoked... ever in front of her... I felt like that 14 year old girl every time my Baba was coming.....
I include my family and my friends.... because I love them..... I was going on yesterday to someone about how I love something... I love it... love it... love it..... and then I received an email back saying one line.... yes don't forget the love.... I stared at it and thought about this deeper for a minute....
Ya love... what the world needs now... what is life without love... that's what makes the world go round doesn't it.... why do people take that for granted? Why do they abuse it, neglect it and even choose to live without it.. when its more important then anything.. after air, food and water.. all there is is love.....
Much love to you today... much love to the people I love... much love to those suffering in Japan and around the world today.... that's the only thing that theres just too little of......
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