OOOOH how I wish I could sleep!! Sleep like normal people... I remember when I was a teenager how I could sleep for 12 -14 hours and really sleep.... not this wake up every 20 minutes because my neck hurts, my back hurts, the leg is numb, the stitches are pulling, I am too hot, too cold or Ossie is snoring and I can hear him through my ear plugs...
It is not fair that he can just sleep... come home and fall asleep, go to bed at 9pm and be asleep by 9:05pm, sleep right through to 8:30am... the only reason he wakes is because the dog licks his ear to go outside....
Last night was brutal... I fell asleep about 1am, slept til 5am.. which was heaven... (don't think I didnt wake up a few times when I rolled over) then got up to pee, readjust my rock pillow for my horrible neck, reinsert my earplug, try and make sense out of my pile of covers, pull them on and off, on and off, lay on my left, lay on my right, think about how I need some Polysporin and other topical things that I shall not mention.... (remember the constipation.. well it has turned to the other side... ya the dark side...), think about my mom - how awesome she is, listen to mr snoring his head off next to me, try not to kick the dog... since he is 7lbs he would fly across the room.... I toss and turn, have a sip of water, ponder my taxes, my customer appreciation month in March, get pissed off and decide to get up..... all this and it's 7:30am and I fall into a sleep...
What's this 8:11am and the dog is licking my face... I reach over to hit Ossie to get up with him and he's gone... oh great..... I call out.. no answer... he is already downstairs which means he has already taken the pup out and has brought him back to bed with me... this used to be our routine.... great.. I get up and put the dog out of the room, go pee and Ossie comes back upstairs... I just want to sleep... he leaves and I lay there for another 45 minutes.... get your lazy butt up Tina....
Hey I should be healing right???? The body needs sleep.....
It's true.. tomorrow is another day... funny how when you wake up it is always today and yet we either put off or think about what we will do tomorrow... what happens when tomorrow becomes yesterday? Quickly fleeting... like the sands in an hour glass... slipping slowly... slowly slipping away... and tomorrow is yesterday...
Yesterday.... I had such great plans.... so many ideas of what to do.... clutter clearing, cooking, cleaning, showering, making beds, dusting, sweeping... business planning and the list goes on and on.... alas I did get a few items tried on and decided to pay them forward.... and then I had a shower... holy cow... I had a shower... no dressing.. just me and my steri strips and my stitches... I remember why now.... remember why they say to take it easy, dont reach too much, dont strain... holy cow lifting the arm to get the razor.... ummm ya... pullllllllllllllllllllllll..... ok what's this.. it's been 6 days.. will someone please tell me why this is such a big deal.. all they did was but alittle fat away..... come on.....
Ok so the rest of the day was spent in my chair... dressed though... yes I was dressed... hair quickly thrown together... then I noticed it needs cutting.. sorry Timm I did my trick.. twisted it ontop and cut it... not much.. just enough to make it stand on end....
Lia came to visit.. brought me a bag of goodies... chocolates which I ate... ass fatter...... but an amazing book of 40 amazing women called Fearless Women.. Fearless Wisdom... with Michelle Peavy on the cover... Michelle also gave me a gift of her CD.... wow... wow... you have to look this lady up.. well she is actually coming to speak at the POWE conference in April... she is from Houston and is amazing... I can't wait to meet her... simply amazing...... she also brought me a book of meditations and in the very first chapter I already learned something that was profound to me....
I will leave you with this nugget today..... I already know my paradyme - well one of them anyway.. which I refuse to put down..... think about a time when you would not put down your groceries to open a door.. being stubborn as we are and thinking we can do it... we work harder and sweat more as we try to open that door... and yet we refuse...
We, our ego... refuses to put down what we carry in order to open the door.. what can you relate this too.... today I will contemplate this... and take a bath.....
Item #334 above is a suede bag... never used it... bought it cause I thought it would be good for traveling... trying to carry more onto the plane and avoiding overages... ya... didnt ever use it.. too big for my frame... like it cause it's animal print but didnt use it...
Item #333 - not shown... I gave away a lovely black & clear crystal stretch bracelet on the cruise to Nancy.. she liked it... and you know as part of what I am doing this year... I want someone to enjoy things that I have enjoyed... I have the matching one at home.. so I gave it to her... I hope she enjoys it.....
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