How does a person who has been living on the edge her entire life determine when too much is too much..... when its time to give in and do less... when its time to rest.....listen to the body and just get out of her head...
Yesterday started with a morning conference call that was awesome, then I was rushing around (ok as rushing as I can be right now on the lowest energy ever) to get myself showered and decent for Mary to come over for a visit (which was lovely... we chatted and chatted and loved it...) then I would have been ok but we then went out for Julia's bday party and there for a couple of hours I could push it.... and I did... had a blast with everyone but then, it happened.... the familiar feeling.... the one that is stopping me from doing alot of things these past few weeks... complete and utter exhaustion.... so tired you can't sleep, my head actually hurts when I hit the pillow and pounds.. my body feels like I am carrying 10 bowling balls and I feel as if I am in slow motion... and most of the night and today I feel queasy, emotional and soooo tired.....
So how does one determine when too much is too much....... it would be amazing if there was a clock that rang when it was time or someone hit you over the head (gently mind you). I think that we need to stop and listen to our intuition.... it's always right and is just trying to warn us about impending things to come...
So why don't we listen to it.... why do we believe we are above it..... can create some diversion or maneuvers to out mastermind it... or maybe if we just ignore it... it wont happen... truth is.... our intuition is the smartest part of us and the other part.. our brain thinks it is.... so they are in constant battle to see who will win......
Yesterday, my intuition told me it was going to be too much for me and I pushed through it thinking, yes thinking I would outsmart it.... because sooner or later I have to get my energy back..... then it hit me... what if I don't ever get the same energy level back, what if I just can't go at the same pace I did before, what if this is how I have to function for the rest of my life.... that scares me big!!!
Ok, hang on... how about this.... I think it's much easier to take things one day at a time, one intuitive moment at a time and just chill, do what I have to do (like brush my teeth and shower) and rest.... (hmmm that concept is pretty new... but one I think I can handle....) today, I think that is all I can muster up.... and my intuition agrees......
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