Have you ever seen this pic??? I just found it while cleaning my laptop.... it was a full page article on us all.... how fab do we look???
It was a lovely day, down at the Whitby shores... as I was clearing out my lap top I found this amongst other oldies and goodies... this was from 2008 I believe... we had fun that day.
This is my friend Julia.... she has never seen this pic... there she is listening to me speak on stage at an event... hmmmmmm she actually does listen to me..... isn't that interesting.....
Funny story... who knew really... we went to high school together and hung out in the smoking area, in the park and under the bridge during gym class.... and then after high school we went our separate ways..... 8 years ago at a networking event there we were across the room... only this time... it's friendship... and man, am I blessed to have her as my friend.... During this last 3.5 months she has been there through it all.... the late night BBM's, the texts, listening, listening, listening..... hanging out at hospital for 4 hours as I am delayed, the distractions of shopping, cruise, oh and we do love our shopping, the laughter, dressing me after surgery, buying matching pink jewelry, loving pink now..... buying me the Pinkalicious book.... so much more then this..... the most important part is knowing that no matter what she is there with me til the end....
Girlfriends...... so very important in a woman's life.... there is your mate, your kids, your family.... and then there are girlfriends... sister by another mister..... and being blessed to have a mom who is a girlfriend... takes it up another notch....
Julia...... I love you and thank you....
Mom..... not sure where I would be and who I would be without you... I can't wait to see our chapter for my book, I have a chapter called Me on My Mom and you will turn the page upside down and the other half of the chapter will be My Mom on Me... neither of us will see this til they are done.... how cool is that??? I can't wait to share that.....
Ok the time is near where I can find out if today is "clear for take off day" I am nervous.... today I am bloody nervous.... In my heart I know what the answer is.... but I am still nervous.... there is always a what if hanging over your head.... always a chance right........... right????? NOPE!!!!!!!
I have but one option..... I have spend over 3 months in limbo, 3 months living with a little black cloud over my head, with a dark invader inside me... it is gone now..... gone for good...... I went to battle, am a little worse for wear right now, gone through mental anguish, looked at myself in the mirror and faced some pretty ugly things..... I have but one option...... I have been a bitch to the man who loves me....... I have retreated from life, from work, from friends....... I have ate loads of icecream, drank loads of wine and martinis because what the hell....... I have smiled and pretended, put up with the tilt of the head...... I have but one option...... I have gone to places in my mind that scared the hell out of me.... I sat in my sister in laws funeral and thought of my own mortality deeper then I ever did before.......... I have but one option........ I have shared my fears, my inner insecurities, my strength and my hope with the world..... I have found out who supports me, who retreats and doesn't even email to ask how I am, who I feel closer to and is just too busy to care.....
I have but one option...... to go to the doctor and face the results.. no music... just words... like a play, the play of my life thus far..... I can't hover over it, look down from a floating place, I must be there, fully there..... my body, mind and soul must be in tune today to face the results... they are fine... they will be clear...... no further treatments needed... right???????
I am positive, strong and let me tell you this.... I have much trouble to cause in this world... God would not slow me down anymore.... ok ok I listened already..... the last 3 months have not been in vain..... I have big things to accomplish, 2 kids to marry off - one in September this year... I must be well, I have a centre to open, programs for caregivers, seniors and cancer support to create, I have a puppy to raise, a wedding of my own to plan, a floor to get done, trips to take, a book to publish, speaking to do to inspire others to get off their butts and get going...... a man to train.... oh yes he needs more training at 52....... but most of all I have to take care of myself, my health and my great big juicy succulent life awaits........
I have but one option today...... to be cleared for take off..... wish me luck....
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