Little Miss What the Hell.. she is winning!!!

So I lost nothing this week.. I stayed exactly the same... no pounds and no inches... but then Thursday hit and well had to do the Princess birthday and 3 glasses of wine later and whatever I ate.. not a good thing... ya.. well.. then Friday came and Connie and a couple glasses of wine.. then Saturday and well after a day at the centre I wanted to go out for dinner and there was definitely more and a little something called pasta... ya pasta.. Sunday - good girl... home all day except for the shopping for stuff to redecorate the house...

I am getting this spring fever thing... I need to redecorate... need to start cleaning and de-cluttering... I know the first thing to go is the purses and shoes and oh ya that jewellery room needs a good overhaul... what about scarves... I have way more than 4 women would wear...

My friend Julia calls me extreme.. I don't think I am extreme, I think I am eccentric in many ways though.. I think it's true when I like something I will collect it.. doesn't everyone? I like clocks so I have one wall I want done in clocks... I like shoes so.. well you get the pic.. lol...

So, don't I like myself??? I don't want to be dissected just figure this out.. I need a better routine or something - my life is crazy and about to get crazier and I want to drop this poundage!! So why oh why do I not just stick to it... I just feel like "little miss what the hell" is sitting on my shoulder with her smokey breathy voice all the time lately!!!! "What the hell darling, you look fab anyway, just enjoyyyyyyyyyy" kinda like the old Cat Woman - remember Ertha Kitt... ya that's the voice of my "Little Miss What The Hell" and she is one hot mama... 

So, this week... I am going to start all over again... do what I am told.... fight for a skinny girl inside the fat suit (oh hey remember the first Men in Black where the bug invades the guys body and pulls it up from the head - calling it a meat suit - man I would like to do that - pull it all back and look tight and firm..) ya wishful thinking... again...

Well it's an exciting time right now.. redecorating, expanding my office team, getting ready to go to Florida.. damn I had to remind myself that... only like 7 weeks.. I have to get to work and stick to this plan and make it work.. and then there is Stilettos - me in a little costume...OK OK... get your butt in gear literally girlfriend.. plan to succeed and follow the plan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will go tomorrow to weigh in and then we will see the damage... I will share it with you so that I will be accountable and kick "Little miss what the hell" off my shoulder (maybe just for the dieting part of it cause I do kinda like her when there is something really juicy I want to do but shouldn't) I have to have some fun!!!!

Someone once said to me "I am not going to do something very long if I am not having fun at it" so my theory.. just find the fun in everything I do...

www.stilettosforthecure.com for your tickets!  Get them while they are hot!

High Maitenance...A Simple Girl a Contradiction of Terms!

Green tea is not my fav thing in the world to drink.... but......I am drinking hot lemon water, cold lemon water, green tea with lemon, green tea without, green tea with super fruits and NO COFFEE!!!! I love coffee but... they tell me it is keeping my belly fat...

Hate this pic of me..

When I was pregnant with my Zachary - some 24 years ago (his birthday is March 1) we called my belly "the blump) a big lump of Zak and a bit of belly fat... ya I look back on those pics and man at 8 months I looked good... ya.. didn't weigh as much as I do now.. yup that's right!!! At 8 months!!! At 9 that was different sordid story..

My point is, I started calling my belly, the big lump below the belly button "the blump" and it has stuck .. it's still here, still just hanging around (figuratively and not so much!) it exists.. I squish it into what I call "suckables" these are the up to your bra, down to mid thigh tight as hell underwear made to make you look smooth... I also call them "holderiners" and they have been a mainstay in my panty drawer for as long as I can remember.. if a pair of my granny panties don't have some kind of a suckable in them I don't wear them..

Ya hide behind the kid!

Ya like it works.....only if they are steal reinforced!  A few years back I was at a networking meeting and saw this giant suckable that you step into and pull up over your shoulders and it clips up the front and hides it all, the back fat, the thighs, hoists up the boobs, smooths out the hips (my ledges) and sucks in the blump... oh boy was I excited... this is the contraption that Lisa Nichols endorses.. truth is I don't care who endorses what.. never been one to follow a product because a celebrity gets paid to do it.. really just not me...

This one spoke to me though.... this fat girl wants to look thin... ya you know the rule, pulling on those Spanx then asking your man.. do I look fat in this.. ummmm if he was to tell you the truth you would drive him... "honey, you just can't squeeze a mack truck into a lemon and expect it to look thin!"

She measured me from head to toe.. I told her not to tell me the size cause I am in denial... and order the biggest one you got.. and lets get going.. I was excited, just couldn't wait to get thin.  I thought of nothing else for weeks before my package arrived.. weeks indeed more like 2 months.. and trust me this thing was expensive (approx. $200).  Now, I have spent loads of money over the years on all this stuff, have drawers overflowing with many promises for a sleeker, slimmer, flater blump, a pushed up, sucked in butt, smooth hips that a skirt would glide right over... Ya ok.. I know better.. but... just one last try... just this one.. I know it will be different....

There are no suckables for
the face!

It arrives!! I am excited to say the least... Ossie goes to work.. thank goodness.. I want to try this thing on and not have him come in and find me struggling like crazy!  The instructions say - have someone help you the first time - ya no!

I am a pro at these suckable things remember... I am super-woman and know all when it comes to pulling, pushing and squeezing this fat into things... I even duct-taped myself for a gala once.. well I had help but I did it...

OK so you have to get a picture in your head... I stepped into this stiff as a board contraption with hard steal siding, I pulled it up to my butt.. Granted it's stiff and I can feel it.. oh boy it's gonna suck it all in and I will look 3 sizes smaller.. come on Lisa stay with me.. the blump is your big test.. oh boy... I pull on the right side to get it over the hips.. man I need powder.. I am starting to sweat... I pull one arm up and over the shoulder - it's tough... then the other... OK arms in.. I fix it by pulling each side up a little more... I am in.. now looking down I see what it does, it took at my back fat, under arm boob fat, hip and butt fat and put it all in the front between the hooks!!!

I stood there looking down, laughing and sweating... this is pretty... I grabbed the jiggly fat and realized I was going to get squished even more... I layed on the bed and did up the first hook at my crotch.. sweat sweat, then did up the 3 at my chest... so far so good.. then comes the tough part... I took a deep breath and sucked in my blump as best I could.. it didn't move... nope... so I grabbed each side and pulled it more.. there was no give.. the secret to this thing - no stretch...I grabbed, layed on my side, laughed, cried, swore at it and then got up and went to the mirror... laughing my butt off (which by the way looked fabulous) simply lovely tight and high!!! 

There I stood, looking at this thing on myself, a few clips done up above my boobs and a few at my crotch and just try and imagine a pita bursting with stuff... ya that's how I looked...

I stepped out of it and threw it in the back of my closet.. Sunday I found it.. no.. I didn't even try to put it on.. I rolled it in a ball and stuffed it back there...

Today I will drink lemon water, hot and cold and drink green tea til I look it.... and I will pull on my suckables, an over sized sweater or something and go out the door...

All in a day's work!

I want to drink wine, eat cheese and lose all this weight now!!!

Friday off.. ahhhh... Day at the spa with Julia.. A day for us to relax, get pampered and take a load off. We hit the road at 10am, did our grocery shopping for the weekend and of course it was to be healthy and help us stay on track with our eating plan.  We stopped at this little restaurant in Peterborough down the road from the spa and shared a sandwich and a salad.. all good.. keep going..
After the spa - which was like 5 hours of hard work.. lol.. ya not really.. a complete overhaul was what we got.. it was awesome!  Heading back to the cottage for dinner we had to stop and pick up more wine (of course) what is an evening at the cottage in the hot tub without wine??? As you know that just can't be!!

YUMMM!

At the grocery store, (being hungry) I hung around at the cheese counter and picked up 5 different kinds.. love cheeses with bread.. wine.. and of course we had to get red pepper jelly and an artichoke antipasto as well.. ok lets just get home so we can eat please!!

Starving, I munched and munched and munched so much that we didn't want dinner.  I just wanted wine and hot tub... How bad is that.. I have such great intentions and then I eat the bread.. and "little Miss What the Hell" ya she appeared that night.. telling me to start over tomorrow.. have some fun tonight.  OK Miss, what about tomorrow.. ya start over then too, and the day after that.. ya start over then too.. well the issue is that I will run out of days...

Standing on the lake

I stood on the scale this morning and was up about 1.5lbs.. when Thursday I was down 2.6 I think... shit!! Shit!!! SHIT!!!! I did it again..

I was thinking this morning, what we do when we think we have all the time in world... How come I can work on a deadline and make things happen but when it comes to this weight thing I keep pushing it forward.  I want an easy fix... I want to take a magic pill - I do so!!! I don't care to work at this... I want it to happen for me and still eat cheese... I know the get thin quick things don't work just like the get rich schemes don't.. but... pleaseeeeee I want it to!!! I so do.....

Damn, I just don't want to work at this... I want to eat those good things like cheese... and drink wine... I like wine and cheese.. I love the social aspect of it.. nibbling, talking, tasting sipping... I love to sample different things.. why is that so bad???? WHY????

Guys ice fishing - sitting on lake!

Ok, so I am back at it today and have done well... One day at a time is all I can do.  I will see tomorrow if I don't wake up washed away from all the green tea, hot lemon water and water with lemon and lime... no, no wine.. ok I get it..

Today, another day... start all over again!!!